When I first moved to LA, I worked at a reality TV company. A client hated one of our segments, ironically, the part they had pushed for. Furious, they demanded a redo with no added budget. To resolve this, our  all-black-wearing, muscle-car-driving, ball busting CEO demanded a call to put the client in their place. I picked up the extension as I eagerly anticipated the smack down. What I heard however, was the CEO apologize, mollify, and accede to everything the client wanted. What happened to my condescending bullish bully CEO?

Parshas Devarim begins Moses’s month-long speech to the Israelites just before he dies and they enter the land of Israel. Over the course of the speech Moses recounts significant events, expounds on mitzvahs, and relates prophecy. But famously, Moses starts with rebuke of all the Israelites before him. Literally all of the Israelites. All three million. Was it so necessary that they all needed to be present? Rashi comments on Moses’s insistence.

Had Moses reproved only some of them, those who were elsewhere could have said to those who were present: “You heard what the son of Amram said and you did not answer anything with this or that point. Had we been there, we would have answered him.” For this reason, Moses gathered them all together and said to them, “Since you are all here, anyone who has anything to say in response – let him respond!”

Rashi asserts the reason Moses wants all the Israelites present for his farewell was so they couldn’t disregard his rebuke. Would the Israelites be so glib? And if they were so bold as to refute Moses’s comments, why would being present stop them? It never stopped the Israelite’s complaining in the past. 

Rabbis parallel this speech to Yaakov’s farewell at the end of the book of Bereishis. They give reasons such as; that on a person’s deathbed, that’s the appropriate time to give rebuke. By saving it for a sermon, instead of giving it regularly, the receiver is less likely to be discouraged or feel pestered. And the receiver knows the rebuke is without agenda, as they will inevitably contemplate the dying person’s final words. But this is more than a farewell speech of criticisms. This is an event that ends an era and Moses decided to make rebuke part of it. Rashi is telling us something deeper, something about the importance of involvement in Jewish society and the Jewish narrative. 

One of my pet peeves is when anyone talks about the generations of the Torah as if their failures were simple matters. “If they had just waited one more day for Moses, but instead they worshiped a golden idol? Fools!” Or “God gave Adam and Eve one prohibition and it didn’t even take them a day to transgress it!” For one, our generation fails far easier tests on an hourly basis. But more importantly, we weren’t there and we also know the end of the story. To say, I would have made such-and-such choice differently is clearly Monday morning quarterbacking. To be in the midst of tumultuous circumstances, tangible temptations, and societal pressure… our judgement becomes cloudy, our perfect courage can crumble. 

So too with second hand criticism, it’s easy to think of rationalizations and objections after the fact. But doing so misses the point. We shouldn’t counter point rebuke. We should listen to it as if it were life-saving advice. Especially in the case of Moses, the Israelites should deeply consider quite possibly the most honest feedback from one of the wisest people who ever lived… Even if they thought he was wrong, there’s clearly much to contemplate from hearing a personalized and Divinely inspired message. 

But to the bigger point, this rebuke was given at a national event. It was something to be a part of. Whether it is being with family as a loved one passes away, taking up a banner and going to a protest rally, or witnessing a moment in history unfold (9/11, Covid, 10/7) that shared experience changes you and bonds you with the people who shared it. Oftentimes, in a way that people outside that experience will only be able to imagine. The Israelites needed to hear the rebuke together because their growth from the criticism could only be achieved if they shared finding the solution together. You’re more likely to keep up with the gym if you have a workout buddy. You’re more likely to keep learning Torah if you have a chevrusa. 

Now, it is helpful to have outside perspectives on a problem. But sometimes, too many perspectives, especially when they are misinformed by second or third hand perspectives with agendas, can make unity impossible. So the decision to be a part of a shared experience, such as the Jewish people means making the decision to be present. This is so important for all the generations of today. Our multitasking, dopamine addicted, watch the recap on Youtube, Zoom meeting culture has tremendous trouble being present. Even Netflix knows that subscribers scroll on their phones as they watch content, so they make movies to be background noise. All of this disengagement allows us to keep reality at arms length while minimizing warnings and rationalizing our part in any responsibility.  

When we choose to be present, even if it is mandated, we choose to be a part of the story. Not as a spectator, not as a commentator. But as a participant, even if that participation is passive. And difficult. And embarrassing. Being present lets us experience the truth for ourselves so that it can change us. To do otherwise is to spend your life pretending you’re some macho badass who maybe dresses in all black. You might have an office with some cool muscle cars, but when push comes to shove, will the facade crumble? Or will you listen to the good but difficult advice to demonstrate you’re willing to change. Are you willing to do what is necessary to be the true champion and be part of something bigger?