“The people took their dough, before it had leavened, with their leftovers wrapped in their clothes on their shoulders.” (Shemos 12:34)

Immediately after the Israelites gained their freedom following the 10th plague, they packed up their belongings and left Egypt. As the verse above says they took their leftovers with them. But what are these leftovers? According to Rashi they are the leftover matzah and maror.  The matzah makes sense, they’re going to need food on their trip. But why the maror?

The mitzvah for the following generations will be to eat matzah for all seven days of Pesach.  But there’s no mitzvah to eat horseradish after your Seder. You’re not commanded to finish the stalks of the romaine lettuce. So why are the Israelites taking their bitter condiments with them?

We all know the maror represents the bitterness of the Egyptian slavery. On the Seder night it is a mitzvah to not only remember the pain but relive it. It is a powerful act to remember where we came from and what we’ve gone through to become who we are. Remembering the pain we once felt helps us have sympathy for the pain others are going through today. But that doesn’t mean you should always carry it with you.  

The Israelites had just been released from their bondage and so those feelings aren’t going to magically disappear. Trauma doesn’t go away overnight. But given that there was no commandment to carry the maror, this was clearly a choice to “shoulder” the bitterness as the verse alludes. Pain is difficult to get over. But we have to ask, are we choosing to hold on to that pain? Are we choosing to stop the healing process? Must we hold onto the leftover experiences like spoiled Chinese food still in the fridge from December 25th?

However, if I’m going to cite Rashi as my source for the bitterness, I also have to cite his explanation for the rest of the verse. Commenting on, “On their shoulders,” Rashi says that, “even though they had animals, they carried the leftovers for the love of the [Pesach] mitzvah.” From Rashi’s perspective they weren’t harboring their pain, they were cherishing all parts of their experience. They celebrated the symbols that not only set them free but connected them to Hashem. The bitterness was something necessary for them to become a free and holy nation. 

Rabbi David Aaron often speaks about giving pain a purpose and in doing so, making it the source of power. From this perspective, battle scars aren’t shameful but badges of honor. No one lives a life free of struggle or adversity. By focusing on how it has shaped you and what it has led to, you can see the good that came not in spite of the hardship, but because of it. 

The Israelites were commanded to do a lot upon leaving Egypt. They had to take a lamb and slaughter it, paint its blood on the door posts, then roast the meat and eat it. They couldn’t leave any for the morning. But the leftovers of matzah and maror, taking them wasn’t a mitzvah. It was a choice. So too is the bitterness we hold on to. If we are going to carry the pain on our shoulders, I hope we are able to see it for the necessary good it has brought us. Not a bitterness that will flavor the way we experience our future.