I spend too much time on Reddit. I can certainly waste a considerable amount of time browsing topics from cooking, to pest control, to memes about Star Wars prequels. And from time to time I’ll argue on the Israel/Palestine subreddit, while changing no one’s mind. It’s great.

But something very disturbing has been happening lately. These Israel/Palestine posts are showing up more and more. And not in political or news or even cultural subreddits. Humor subreddits post memes about Trump being Netanyahu’s lapdog. Movie subreddits ridicule Gal Gadot not only attacking her acting, but that she “likes to bomb children.” The pictures subreddit posted, “These are the Journalists killed by Israel” with page after page of supposed reporters. This is but a drop in the online tsunami of anti-Zionist and antisemitic content posted daily. Within me is a compulsion to set the record straight. Of course it never does any good.

But these are faceless anonymous internet individuals who for all I know could be Iranian bots. What about when these sentiments spill over to the figures we follow? I like to watch a lawyer who posts on Youtube. His videos are short, fascinating, educational, and funny. But when he posted about a man who was asked to change his shirt on an airplane, a shirt that said, “Bombing kids is not self defense,” I feared I’d be unfollowing one of my favorite creators. He talked about how a flight attendant saw the man’s shirt and felt unsafe and complained to the crew. For the most part I felt his legal assessment was fair. But then he said…”If a shirt that says ‘don’t kill kids’ makes you feel unsafe, maybe don’t leave the house.” Earlier in the video the lawyer had compared the shirt to an IDF shirt, so clearly the lawyer knew what the unsafe shirt was referring to. 

But did he know that an Israeli-American woman was refused service at a Virginia hair salon once the owner learned she was Israeli? That an Israeli couple at a California ranch was confronted by an employee shouting political slogans and asking about their military service? That an Israeli was harassed at a Burger King by a worker decrying “Free Palestine”? All because of sentiments like the statement that shirt is making. I don’t know what I would do in these situations. But what I do know is that if I were walking down the street with my three-year-old daughter, and I saw someone wearing a shirt that said, “Bombing kids is not self defense,” I would take her hand and have her walk close to me until the man passed. 

How am I supposed to feel? Clearly, I’m angry at the barrage of misinformation and my inability to do anything about it. As Brandolini’s Law states, “The amount of energy needed to refute [disinformation] is an order of magnitude greater than the energy needed to produce it.” I am profoundly angry that we are made to answer for the actions of a government. Do Russian students get excluded from college spaces because of the war in Ukraine? Are Chinese restaurants boycotted because of the mistreatment of the Uyghurs? These feelings are becoming more than anger, they’re growing into disgust. I’m starting to despise the people who perpetuate the modern blood libel and how this cause has become so trendy. 

Finally we come to this week’s parsha.

You shall not despise an Edomite, for he is your brother. You shall not despise an Egyptian, for you were a sojourner in his land. (Devarim 23:8) 

Ki Seitzei gives the prohibitive mitzvah against not just hating, but despising two nations. Edom and Egypt. Let’s start with Egypt. You would think of all the nations that the Jewish people would be justified in loathing; it would be the ones who enslaved us, oppressed us, and murdered our children. However, as Rabbi Jonathan Sacks mentions in his book Lessons in Leadership, “If the people had continued to hate their erstwhile oppressors, Moses would have taken the Israelites out of Egypt but would have failed to take Egypt out of the Israelites. They would still be slaves, not physically but psychologically.” (Pg 339) The ability to overcome setbacks, rise above them, and not allow the victimhood to become our identity, is quite possibly the most defining quality of the Jewish people. We are known for what we achieve, not what we hate. 

This is even more true concerning the Edomites. Where Egypt was an institutional oppression, Edom comes from Esav, Yaakov’s brother, and his hatred was distinctly personal. Rabbi Sacks comments, “Esav may hate Jacob. It does not follow that Jacob should hate Esav. To answer hate with hate is to be dragged down to the level of your opponent.” Then he points out in the words of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, “When Esav met Jacob for the last time, he kissed and embraced him ‘with a full heart.’ Hate, especially between brothers, is not eternal or inexorable. Always be ready, Moses seems to imply, for reconciliation between enemies.”

So how does this apply to the present wave of Jewish backlash? Is this an institutional hatred like Egypt? Is it a personal and familial vendetta like Edom? Or is it something else? The illogical, rabid derangement of Amalek, the sworn enemies of God and the Jewish people? If it were Amalek, my anger would be justified as we’re obligated to “obliterate the memory of them” as the end of Ki Seitzei commands. 

The root of the Hebrew word “despise” is tav-ayin-beis meaning “to cause a revulsion.” It’s not just a higher magnitude of hate, but a negativity that is ingrained. My take is that it refers to hateful bias or prejudice. Because when the accusations feel distinctly personal and all there is all-encompassing condemnation, Zionists = Nazis, Apartheid,  Genocide… How can a Jew not despise that attitude? How can we not see a keffiyeh, or a Palestine flag, or a sign that says “Free Palestine” and not have an immediate revulsion? 

The answer is that we can’t let hate define us. Of course, we can despise the double standards, the lazy journalism, and the pop culture morality. The Torah doesn’t tell me not to find an accusation abhorrent. It tells me not to make the person abhorrent. But at the same time, a lot of people protesting aren’t necessarily doing so because they hate Jews. Many of them are genuinely disgusted and horrified by the suffering of the Palestinians. If there were no other side to the story, I would want everyone to treat violent oppression with such disdain. We should love them for this. I don’t have to love what they believe about Israel. But I can recognize something admirable in the fact that another human being sees suffering and refuses to be indifferent to it. But instead many of us have adopted a tribal mindset and a complicated issue deserving of sophisticated nuance has been reduced to us vs them mentalities. This is the very “despising” the Torah is prohibiting. 

Yes, much of the criticism is outright lies and that is leading to real and violent consequences. That’s essentially Amalek. But to blanket every criticism on Reddit, every celebrity proclaiming “Free Palestine,” or even every naive but hyper-vigilant college protestor as crazy or evil? That’s venturing into the prejudice of “despising” the Torah is warning us about. 

Regarding the Youtube lawyer, I asked a rabbi as to whether I should unfollow his content and he said to me (some paraphrasing), “Someone who has taken the cause of being anti-Israel like Roger Waters, we shouldn’t support them, it’s a moral issue. Someone who is an ‘accidental antisemite,’ who has swallowed the common sentiment, but they’re not devoting their lives to really hurting the Jewish people… those people are fine. People in the middle who are like Mark Ruffalo or Javier Bardem, it’s a judgment call. I respect someone who won’t support them, but it’s not the end of the world if you want to see the new Spider Man movie.” 

So at least I can watch my (now second) favorite Youtube lawyer. If I found myself in a store or a coffee shop and the person behind the counter told me they don’t serve “baby killing Zionists,” I don’t know what I would do. Especially if I was with my daughter. But perhaps if the moment were right, rather than going on the defensive and trying to advocate for Israel… maybe I’d listen, hear them out, and then ask them about themselves. See who they are and how they came to their position. I might say, “You’re right to be angry. I have different facts and a different understanding and I wish you could see it as I do. But from your perspective, I’d be furious too.” Then leave it as that and walk away. Perhaps that is naive and if said to the wrong person might get me in some serious trouble. And in all likelihood, it’ll change nothing, just like on Reddit. Except, I’ve refused to let them make me the monster that they’re convinced I am. And if my daughter sees that, perhaps when the bombardment of accusations eventually reaches her, she won’t need the internet to tell her who Jews are. She’ll have seen it for herself.