With Thanksgiving fast approaching, it always strikes me that the parshas dealing with Yaakov and Esav almost always coincide. The family dysfunction almost feels too appropriate. But while reading over Toldos, I noticed that it has another thematic connection with the turkey-centric holiday – the prominence of food.

A Meal Between Brothers

“And the youths grew up, Esav became a skilled trapper, a man of the field. Yaakov was a man without fault, living in tents. Yitzchak loved Esav because he ate of his trappings…” (Bereishis 25:27-28)

First, we have Esav who is not only a hunter but the Torah says Yitzchak loved him because of the “trappings of his mouth.” Right there, we have the start of a relationship based on food. But immediately after, we see Esav and how he regards both food and his heritage.

“Yaakov was cooking stew [lentils] when Esav came in from the field, exhausted. Esav said to Yaakov, ‘Now feed me a gulp of that red, red stuff, for I’m exhausted!’…Yaakov said, ‘As of this day, sell me your birthright.’” (Bereishis 25:29-31)

The whole scene is bizarre. Esav, who certainly knows how to catch and make food, is so exhausted that he’s willing to sell his birthright for a cup of soup? And what sort of “man without fault” deprives his brother of food unless he’s willing to give up his role in the family? Without referring to the midrash that says Esav was doing evil deeds, I will reference the Rashi that tells us that the boys’ grandfather, Avraham, had just died and Yaakov was cooking lentils as that was the meal for mourners.

So to give proper context to the scene, instead of grieving with family, Esav comes in only for what he needs. He specifically refers to the lentils as “red stuff,” so as to not even acknowledge the loss of the household, and devours it like an animal. It is this lack of concern for the family’s emotional needs that prompts Yaakov to demand the responsibility for the family.

“Yaakov then gave Esav bread and pottage of lentils, [Esav] ate and drank, got up and left. Thus Esav scorned the birthright.” (Bereishis 25:34)

Even with his brother’s rejection of family duties, Yaakov still gives him a proper meal (in Torah thought, a meal must have bread), but rather than sitting with him and trying to have some connection, Esav gets up and leaves.

“There was a famine in the land…” (Bereishis 26:1)

Immediately after the scene with Yaakov and Esav, the very next line is that there is a famine and Yitzchak has to travel to Gerar, the land of the Philistines. After some disputes with the natives, Avimelech, king of the Philistines, and his advisors recognize that Yitzchak is blessed by Hashem and decide to make a covenant of peace.

“[Yitzchak] made a feast for them, and they ate and drank. They got up early in the morning, and they each swore to the other. Yitzchak sent them away and they left in peace. On that day Yitzchak’s servants came… and said to him, “We have found water.” (Bereishis 26:30-32)

The covenant of peace is celebrated with a feast between all parties. Unlike Esav who immediately got up and left, the feast seems to last all night. But whereas what follows Esav’s meal is famine, what follows this meal is the famine’s end.

Delicious Blessings

“Prepare for me a tasty dish, the way I like it, and bring it to me that I may eat, so that my soul will bless you before I die.” (Bereishis 27:4)

Finally, we have the blessing of Yaakov and Esav. The whole scenario revolves around food. As the verse above states, Yitzchak seems to require a meal before he’s able to give Esav his beracha. Then, when Rivka has Yaakov disguise himself as Esav, she specifically relates to Yaakov this detail “[Your father said], ‘Bring back [deer] for me and make it into a tasty dish for I will eat. Then I will bless you in the presence of Hashem before I die.’” (Bereishis 27:6-7) Why does the Torah repeat the detail? She then has Yaakov take two goats instead of deer.

“May HaElokim give you the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the land, and the abundance of grain and wine.” (Bereishis 27:28)

The content of the beracha itself blesses Yaakov with plentiful food. Why is food integral to the beracha and why is it at the heart of the beracha? Rabbeinu Bachya explains that Yitzchak wanted to experience joy before giving the blessing. This alludes to the principle that prophecy does not rest upon a person in a state of sadness, but in a state of joy.

However, there is an opportunity inherent in the meal itself. Every Shabbat we are supposed to have three meals where we recite birchas hamazon (grace after meals, aka bentching.) Every holiday we have that mitzvah for at least two meals. At a celebration like a wedding or a bris, there’s the mitzvah of that event (i.e. making the bride and groom happy) but there is a separate mitzvah to have a meal and bentch. You might even say the main mitzvah is the meal.

Can you eat these meals alone? Sure. But with three Jews or more, an additional set of praises (known as a zimun) are recited to unify and magnify birchas hamazon. When there are 10 men present an even higher level holiness is unlocked. In fact, special blessings composed for unique events (sheva berachos) can only be recited with a minyan. Some say “the more, the merrier,” but Judaism says, “the more, the holier.”

Judaism recognizes that blessing is found in the gratitude for what we have, especially our sustenance. But even deeper blessings are found in the connections we forge over those meals. It doesn’t take a Torah scholar to know that “breaking bread” brings people together. But Judaism is a distinctly community-based religion for this reason. It’s wonderful when Chabad hunts for Jews to wrap tefillin. But far more have been inspired to engage in their Judaism from a Shabbat dinner.

So when Esav gulps down the lentils, gets up, and leaves, the Torah says he spurned the birthright. Not because he sold it for nothing, but because he literally walked away from the table. In fact, when he calls the lentils “red stuff” instead of acknowledging it was for the grieving family, the Torah says “this is why he was called Edom.” (Bereishis 25:30) The Edomites are considered a distinct lineage from Yitzchak’s main line. They are a separate people. All because Esav wouldn’t sit and have a meal with his brother.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Are you eating to live, or are you living to eat?” There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a delicious gourmet dinner. But are we sharing it with others? Are we listening at that meal? Does this meal bring peace among friends and family? And do we have gratitude to Hashem while welcoming His presence at the table? Without those things, the most elegant banquet may be forgotten the next day. But with them, even sharing a coffee with someone can be unforgettable. And in the case of Yaakov and Esav, a simple bowl of lentils changed the direction of our Jewish heritage forever.